Enjoying The Chaos

of life…with kids, school, and work

KP March 18, 2011

Filed under: family,kids — enjoyingthechaos @ 10:06 pm


This was one of the most amazing days of my life.  I was surrouded by all of the people who love me ,and who I totally adore.  This is Ditty and I with Conner (10) and our new 8lb 9oz baby boy..KP.  I had waited for this moment for a very long time…10 years to be exact. 

When I met ditty, one of the things I feel instantly in love with..was how amazing of a father he was.  At the time, his son was 2 years old, and he was everything to ditty.  He used to tell me that when he was younger..he couldn’t wait to be a dad..

I had the perfect pregnancy, a not so perfect natural delivery, and found that I was floating on air after his birth.  I used to just spend hours looking at him, talking to him, singing to him..I would tell ditty that he would never have to buy me another present in all of our lives..because he had given me the most amazing present anyone could ever give. 

I was lucky enough to stay home with him for the first 6 months..and I was so sad when I had to go back to work, and  I cried everynight..but he was such an easy kid.  Everyone at daycare loved him..he was a great eater..an amazing sleeper (started sleeping through the night at 4 weeks)…


…but after I brought lil b home from the hospital, I noticed that kp was getting more fidgety, overactive, talkative.  He was such a handful..but I loved every minute of it.  He was all boy.    I chalked it up to the fact that we had a new baby in the house..and he was used to getting all of the attention.  He was still an amazing little boy..and as smart as a whip…We had no trouble potty training at 2 years old..breaking him from a pacifier was the hard part.

And then ditty and I seperated.  It was hard for everyone..but most of all kp…because they were best buddies. 

Fast forward a bit to September 2008…kp started pre-k 3

…and the teacher..who is amazing…started to talk to me about his behavior.  She pretty much confirmed exactly what I was thinking..kp could very likely have ADHD.  I never wanted to speak the words.  What I knew about ADHD was that it was used as an over diagnosis for children who didn’t behave and an easy way our for parents who didn’t want to parent their children.  I read more book that year on diets to try, behavior modification, and holistic treatments for overactive children.

I the summer of 2009..I decided I was going to get to business..I changed his diet completely..no more white flour, white sugar, no dyes and no processed foods.. which meant more more chick fil a for me  >:/ <—angry face …it didn’t work

Next was holistic treatments…I started giving him a vitamin, immune booster, fish oil, zinc and magnesium…guess what…still didn’t change his behavior…

At this point we are all going crazy…

We are recommended to a psychiatrist…and guess what..they put him on medication for ADHD.  I felt like a horrible mother..here my 5 year old is now on medication…

We have been on it for over a year now..

…and he totally isn’t himself anymore.  We have tried numerous medications and all the dr wants to do is put him on more…he has lost so much weight becuase the medication makes him lose his appetite…(yes, I thought about taking a few myself for this effect)

…He doesn’t sleep well..because the medication keeps him up…and now today…he is a sad angry little boy who finds joy in pretty much nothing…I feel like he isn’t growing normally and that he is slowly slipping away..

While I refused to give him anything else besides one daily dose of his meds…I didn’t feel the doctore was the right place for kp…I wanted to find someone who would get to the bottom of his issues.  Who would test him to make sure this is what he truly had…or am I just a horrible parent…someone who would offer us, as a family, some therapy to learn to handle his outbursts and breakdowns..and who would tell us that is it okay to cry or go into a room to take a few deep breaths before dealing with your son…

…then…we found them!  Ditty and I went to meet with the directore of Millersville Psychological Services.  Kp is all set up for testing on Monday to find out exactly what we are dealing with.  I ultimately would like to come off of all meds, but having a degree in counseling myself, I would lie if I said that I didn’t believe that medicine can help…i just don’t like the idea of it going into my baby’s body.  We will have the results by next Thursday…and I just can’t wait to get started on his treatment!!

I am starting to realize..that being a good mother, a good wife, a good person…doesn’t mean that we have to be good at everything.  We all have ups and downs and things we are afraid to let others know about our lives.  I love getting little glimpses into people’s lives through their blog…I hope I didn’t bore you with my little glimpse…it was just a heavy weight that I needed to get off…

Back to our reguarly scheduled program tomorrow…I have a 4 mile run ..and my niece’s first birthday party!!  WOW how time flies when you are having fun..or busy..lol



2 Responses to “KP”

  1. Heather Says:

    Wow, thanks for sharing your story. Good luck with the doctors – I wish you the best!!

  2. Ellie Says:

    awww your son is so adorable 😀 on another note, thanks for sharing that! I know that it must be so scary, but I pray for all the best and that through it all, you and your son would have peace. Stay strong and courageous! ❤

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